Is Santa Real?

Over the years, some friends had shot those looks at me, warning me NOT to do anything to give their children the idea that Santa may not be real. Yes, some people have lovingly placed me in the same category as the Grinch, someone who could potentially spoil Christmas. But really, all I wanted to do is to help my children live through the holiday season, and hopefully, enjoy it in the process.

When Melanie was four years old, life had to be in black or white. The "grey areas" felt intolerable to her. For instance, on Halloween, she could not bring herself to step outdoors. Just the thought of seeing people dressed in costumes freaked her out. She could not handle Ambiguity. And so, with Santa, she was doomed. She survived the last ten Christmases (and Halloween) because, when she was four years old, I calmly assured her that the Santa who climbs down chimneys with gifts is a make-believe Christmas character, and that ordinary people dress up in costumes on Halloween and in Santa suits on Christmas. My words served as the security blanket she held onto as she lived through the holiday season year after year. Armed with "the truth" about Santa, Melanie began to tell other children that Santa is not real, and almost spoiled Christmas for them, according to the parents of those children. My next conversation with Melanie had to be about respecting other people's beliefs when they differ from hers. She understood and aligned with the grown-ups to keep the truth about Santa a secret, sealing her vow with that I-know-what-you-mean, one-eye wink.

With Audrey, it is almost the same story, but not really. This Christmas marked the first time we spent Christmas Eve at our own home since Audrey turned three years old. At last, here was my chance to pursue an inquiry: Can a child of mine believe in Santa? So, after we've had our Christmas Eve dinner, I told Audrey that perhaps Santa will come to our house this year since we would be home. Audrey froze. She knew who I was talking about. No smile. Wasn't she singing "Santa Claus Is Coming to Town" over and over just the other night? Then a panic attack. "He's coming to our house? Waah!" Oh dear. The seven-year-old grandson of the Haights with whom we had Christmas Eve dinner, told her she has nothing to be scared about, and that Santa arrives only when the children are asleep. "And you should put out milk and cookies for Santa, and carrots for the reindeers," he advised. Audrey turned to me and whispered, "I don't want Santa to have a sleepover at our house." All the adults assured her that Santa does not stay for the night at people's houses because he has to bring presents to all the children in the world. Audrey looked anything but excited. She worried about it all the way home. She worried about it when she stepped into our house. She brushed her teeth, changed into her pajamas, and hopped into bed. I decided to reinforce the story of Christmas - that it is actually the celebration of Jesus' birthday. "Three kings from far away came to see him and gave Him presents when He was born. That is why we give and get presents on Christmas as a way to celebrate the birthday of Jesus." My attempt to justify gift-giving at Christmas time, as you can see. Then I read her an illustrated version of the poem, "The Night Before Christmas." I read parts of the foreword section, particularly the part that says that Clement Clarke Moore wrote the poem for his children and created the concept and image of Santa in a red suit with a round belly, rosy cheeks and a hearty laugh. I also told her that St. Nicholas and the three kings were real people who lived a long time ago, while Santa was just Moore's invention. She was very sleepy by now and flatly told me, "Just read the book, Mom." When I finished reading, she asked me to stay with her until she falls asleep (which is what I do every night anyway). And before she nodded off to slumberland, she said, "Mom, don't put out any milk and cookies and carrots." A strategic move, I thought. A guarantee of protection against the irreconcilable, worrisome thoughts. That night, I wrapped the things I bought for her and Melanie and put them on the table next to our fireplace where all the presents received from friends and family were placed (we do not have a tree). The next morning, I heard Audrey coming down the stairs while I was in the kitchen. She ran to me and exclaimed, "Mom, Santa did come. We have presents!" Later, after all the presents have been opened, she said to me, "Mom, I now know that Santa is real. Remember? We saw him." I remembered the Santa we saw several days before. No, it was not one of those Santas at the department store with whom children take pictures while sitting on their laps (I don't do those things with my children). It was a black man, dressed in a Santa suit, standing on a sidewalk in Boston, chatting with another man in street clothes. He waved at us as we passed him in my car. That experience, and the presents she found on Christmas morning, seems enough evidence that Santa is real. For now. So, yes, a child of mine actually says she believes in Santa.

Audrey is practical. She decided to make peace with the notion of Santa so that she can fully enjoy the occasion. She would rather spend time opening presents, relaxing, and having fun, than spend hours agonizing and trying to make sense of the mountain of information the world (which includes her mother) throws at her about Christmas and Santa. As for Melanie, she stayed true to herself all these years while letting others remain true to themselves. That's admirable. And no, I am not a Grinch. I may be rated by others as "low-key" when it comes to presents and festivities around Christmas time, but I am certainly not a Grinch. Till next Christmas...

P.S.-The picture attached to this post was taken in 2005 when Audrey was two and Melanie was ten years old. We also stayed home for Christmas Eve because Audrey had a heavy cold. No awareness of Santa back then.

The Best Of Audrey

I made a video using clips with Audrey dancing or showing off her "talent". It was really just an experiment, but Mom told me to upload it and show all of you. So here it is.

-Melanie

Holiday Greetings from the Kim Clan 2008

This year, we decided to send out our warm season's greetings to you via a short film clip we have especially put together for you. Melanie wrote and directed our family's 2008 Happy Holiday greetings, starring the Gorgeous Intelligent Refreshing & Loud Sweetie-pies of the Lim-Kim family: Melanie and Audrey, with me in a cameo role. As for Chong Lim, he was either taking a nap or working on his current software project, or foraging around the kitchen for something to eat while we were busy filming. I suspect that the lively sounds the girls make are soothing background noise to him.

The year 2008 was no ordinary year for our family, and it was not an extraordinary year either. Surely, some things could have been better, but there are many things going well for us, and for that, we are quite thankful. 

For one thing, Chong Lim seems happy in his job of ten months with Intuit, makers of Turbo Tax and Quickbook. Often, he sounds like a very motivated and inspired "graduate student," coming home to tell his children about the wonderful things he has uncovered about Flex programming, and beaming from ear to ear when he received recognition for projects he worked on. He is much more relaxed about things in general, even if he still sleeps very late. His occasional sidekick, Audrey, relishes the times they do Math problems. "Audrey, what is 100 + 1?" "101." "What is 1,000 + 1?" "1001." "What is 1,000,000 + 1?" "1,000,001." "Audrey, you're the only five year old who can add in the millions!" Yeah, right, but they are both beaming and having fun, and that is what counts. As for Melanie, he is her occasional driver. He takes her to her soccer games, and picks her up from practices. He brought her to and from most of the bat mitzvahs she attended. He offers to go to the movies with her, and gets gently rejected from time to time. He insists on turning off the television when we have our Saturday dinners and attempts to have a family conversation. "So, what do you think about the plan to bail out the Big Three carmakers?" One mostly hears responses in the form of groans and silence. Maybe Hunter can give him a pointer or two about raising (teenage) daughters. That brings me to the second thing we are thankful for: Melanie.

Melanie is now in 8th grade and a full-fledged teenager. The previous director of middle school in the school where I teach had this saying displayed on the wall outside her office: "Raising teenagers is like nailing jello to the wall." I can attest to its truthfulness (and so can many of you who had or have teenagers to raise, I suppose). Like many teenagers, she has her "d-uh" moments as well as proud ones. She can be an interested participant one moment and an indifferent one the next. How many times do I have to repeat what I say before she moves her adult-size body? She has a maturing sense of humor, sleeps late and wakes up close to noontime if I let her. She likes watching "Fraser," "How I Met Your Mother," "Two-and-a-Half Men," and "Saturday Night Live." Frequently, she shuffles over to where I am with outstretched arms (or not) and lays her entire body weight on me. "Hug-gy, Mommy," she says in her baby voice. Though I do not think I ever subjected my parents to bear my entire body weight when I was her age, I do see her doing a lot of things I used to do. She surrounds herself with friends she has known since elementary school, continues to make new friends based on mutual interests, explores the visual arts in multiple ways, and includes music in her life. Technology is pretty much what makes her current life fundamentally different from mine when I was her age. And in many ways, she is just as aggressive (moderately so) as I was in pursuing her passions. She takes interesting photographs and likes to tinker with graphic designs on the computer. She and two friends have a website which they maintain, and they also host sites to others. She sings in the school chorus, plays the flute in the school band, and continues to take piano lessons. She is no prodigy. She is a hobbyist-musician without any nerves for solo performances, not even in piano recitals conducted at  her piano teacher's home in front of a small audience comprised of families whose children also take piano lessons with the teacher. I think there is the performer and communicator in her waiting to be born. I will leave that up to her. For now, I am happy she is beginning to show others who she is, and is more willing to get her feet wet and explore possibilities. In the summer of 2008, she spent almost a month in Chicago, learning from Mallory and her friends, Nikki, Tank, and Chris, and growing her confidence under the watchful eyes of her 4-ee, 4-ee-tiu, and Guama. She flew back to Boston by herself for the first time, and that was a big step. And how about Chong Lim in her life? He serves as the "reality check" from time to time, reminding all of us about life in the "real world" as defined by him. And so, the threat of enrolling her in the Russian Math school provides enough motivation for her to pay attention to her Math homework and grades. Chong Lim serves as Melanie's practice encounter with the real world, while Melanie serves as Chong Lim's teacher in the art and science of parenting (I, of course, serve as their clinical supervisor). And God knows, Chong Lim will need to have lots and lots of skills and knowledge in that area when he has to deal with Audrey.

We are thankful that Audrey has escaped unhurt in all the adventures she embarked this year. All seven beads she had stuck into her nose came out through repetitive, strong blowing with her nose without damaging her ability to detect smell. The bean she inserted in her ears succumbed to the pull of gravity and slipped out by itself, leaving her ear canal and drums the way they were prior to its intrusion. The fish flakes and pebble she consumed by mouth seemed to have been eliminated from her body through the other hole where larger waste matter comes out. No visits to the emergency room, thank God. And a solemn, sincere promise from Audrey that she will never ever do anything like these again brings peace to our minds and hearts, for the moment. As her fellow Ram, Beta, explained, "Audrey is just a curious, smart kid who has strong survival instincts and skills." If she grows up in the footsteps of her 2-ee, we will have few reasons to worry and complain about. At the rate she is going, she is well on her way. She likes to be in-charge of people, things, and events. Yet, she is empathetic, sensitive to the needs of others, and generous with her resources, time, and attention. That is why she gets a good report from her teachers. Audrey has strong survival instincts all right. She makes sure she is heard. She has a loud, expressive conversational voice, a louder and emphatic tone when she wants something right now, an even louder and more dramatic voice when she feels upset, and an ear-splitting whine when she does not like the way things are going. She makes us laugh, sometimes at her expense, and off she goes under the table or far away with a large pout and arms across her chest. Truly dramatic. On good days, which is most of the days in her life so far, she is a happy, lively child, eager for attention, generous with her embraces and declarations like, "You're the best mom." She is there when I need a hug and a soulful companion. She sings and dances with me when I feel like it. She makes statements and expresses sentiments that sound just like my own. She reminds me to look at life as half full rather than half empty. She is doing what she was meant to do for our family: add a lot of spice and zing to our lives. To Melanie, she might be an annoying sister sometimes, but most of the time, they do what siblings do to and with each other. The most important thing is that Audrey allows Melanie to be a kid, grappling with her own needs and wants, and being childish in her responses from time to time. To Chong Lim, Audrey is his hope for an "almost CL clone," i.e., to be more like him. They already share many similar food preferences, e.g., chocolate and smoked salmon, and they both turn to me to meet their every need. Hmmm... But she is the one who is his reality check. Sometimes, she calls him at work to tell him she misses him and to ask what time he would come home. She gets mad at him when he calls her names, e.g., "Curious George." She cuddles up to him when a scene in the movie felt scary. She dances while Chong Lim plays the piano. She even requests him to play specific songs to his utter delight. She allows Chong Lim to relax and engage in activities that are "not productive." Audrey IS a ham, as you all can see. I hope her "ham-ness" and passion for living will never fade away, but rather, continue to grow and deepen.

As for me, I did more cooking this year than I have ever done in all my life, and I am starting to enjoy the process and results. I still do it largely because I have to, and it is not a painfully frustrating activity anymore. I discovered that I can make edible soups, cakes, muffins, and breads. Technology, especially the internet, has made cooking easier and less stressful for me because I can get answers to questions and snags I encounter while in the process of cooking without calling someone on the phone and revealing my ignorance and lack of skill. Cooking can still become an activity that de-stresses me, and I think it is beginning to become just that, along with washing dishes by hand, especially when there is so much to think about as my children and I grow older and the world becomes even more complex. Life did get stressful during parts of this year. Some of it is my own doing, and some of it not. Still, I think I have gotten over the biggest hump - me and my worrying. This blog is good for me because it provides a way for me to express and reflect on what is in my mind and heart. It allows me to feel connected with myself and with others who matter to me.

With that, I would like to say Thank You, and hope that the circle of love between all of us remain linked and grow stronger over time. That is what will sustain all of us, all our children, now and into the exciting and uncertain future. God bless all of us.

Love from Lynne May

Snow and Ice

We had about 14 to 16 inches of snow yesterday at the end of the snowstorm that started Friday afternoon. And snow was still falling all of Saturday! It was the first time the whole family went out to shovel snow off our driveway, walkway, and sidewalk, and to sweep and scrape snow and ice off our cars. The photo you see on the left is my Honda CRV getting covered by snow. Audrey made a snow angel after she was declared a distraction by her dad and sister.

Today, Sunday, snow fell the whole morning, as the second snowstorm approaches. Icy rain is the forecast for this afternoon when the storm hits. Icicles have already formed around our house - on windows, the wood shingles, and hanging from the gutters. We woke up to a leaking ceiling (uh-huh) in our dining/kitchen area. Apparently, water from the outdoors is finding its way to our house. That is the trouble with older houses. Sigh* Anyway, we can do nothing about it right now. We will have to wait until spring or when all the snow has melted away.

I cooked pork lugao yesterday. Melanie was thrilled. She had plenty of yummy Cantonese-style jook with her Toisanese sitter, and so lugao is a comfort food for her. As for Audrey, I had to ask her whether or not she is Chinese before she dipped her spoon into her bowl to take the first mouthful. I think I just have to make it more often. For tonight's dinner, I am planning on making butternut squash soup and broil pork chops. Here is a snippet of the falling snow (must have a total of at least two feet of snow by now) and a usual achi-siobe interaction.

All Over the World, Snow is Important

To Everywhere in the World:

I think snow is important because when you water plants it's really hard work. So I think snow is good for your plants. Snow can melt into water and plants need water. So when you put snow near your plants, and it gets so hot, when it is summer, it will melt into water and the water will get inside the soil of your plants and it will grow. So remember when it is winter in the world, or in your village or home, when it gets to be winter, put snow near your plants. Again, snow can melt into water. When it gets too hot it goes in the summer and it will melt and it will go into the soil and make your plants grow. That's why I think ice and snow is important.

From,

Audrey

Pop! Goes the Weasel

Found this precious video clip taken in 2005, I think - I could be wrong. Nevertheless, it is definitely a keeper. 

If anyone remembers the occasion, please remind us. Chong Lim was there. Was it Ma's birthday celebration?

I Want To Wash My Hands, My Face And Hair With Snow...

...not. Brr.

Snow has finally arrived in Boston! Expected to get 8-12 inches total. Yay! We had a 12 o'clock dismissal today in anticipation of the snowstorm, and Mom and Audrey didn't have school at all. Lucky them. However, if we had had a snow day today, it would've meant having another day added into June. So I guess it's okay. I'd rather have a half day of school than add a full day onto the school year.

Outside, it's white, cold, and beautiful. Snow, before it has been stomped on and walked across, is one of the priceless natural occurrences (the others being the various shades of red, orange, and yellow in Fall, the bright green leaves in early Spring, branches and plants that have been iced over in an ice storm, and lightning during a thunderstorm). As fun as it is to play and make snowmen/other snow shapes, the snow looks so much prettier when it's untouched. I remember when we got about the same amount of snow as we are supposed to get tonight. It was a couple of years ago, and we had 6 inches or more on the ground for a while.  When the bulldozers came and scooped the snow from the streets, it dumped all of it at the corner of our house. That's one of the downsides of living on a street corner; we receive snow piles on our front lawn as presents for Christmas. Lovely. They made awesome soccer goals, though. They were really fun to climb, too.

I took some pictures of the snow we've received so far. I also filmed the snow falling from various windows around the house, although I'm not sure how clear they are. If you see something moving, it's the snow.

This is the second video I took today. I tried to upload the other two but it was taking a while to load because they were 

longer.

Here is another picture. They're a lot faster to load.

That's it. Bye.

-Melanie of the Boston Region

PS. To comment, click on the word, "(#) comments" below the blog entry you want to comment on. A page where you can comment should come up.

Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader?

Yes, in fact, I am smarter than a 5th grader, thanks for asking.

So now it is time for me, Melanie, to blog. Hooray! I've been blogging for a while on the graphics site I share with my friends (I won't give a link because the content isn't meant for non-graphics people, but if you want to see, comment and I'll post), but you can't say much on those. Usually, we write about site updates and things that happen in our lives. Here, it's just life. 

School

I got Term 1 grades yesterday, from school. They weren't straight A's, but it was pretty darn close. I noticed that they only counted me as absent for 6 days, but I was absent 7 days (chicken pox). We did have an early release because of Thanksgiving break, so I guess they didn't count that day. We got new schedules for the new term two weeks ago. I got Health, but I had it in 7th grade already. You're only supposed to have it once in either 7th grade or 8th grade. This problem is due to the school's new everyday schedule. We used to have a 6-day cycle, with a simple class rotation, 6 periods and 3 lunches. Now, we have a Monday-Friday schedule with two different Friday schedules that alternate, somewhat scattered class orders, 7 periods, and 3 lunches. Last year I had my schedule all memorized and I could throw it out after the first couple of weeks of term. This year I need to carry around a schedule to know where I'm supposed to go. It's not terrible, but it is very confusing.

Home

I still take piano lessons, but I gave up Russian Math and ballet last year. The soccer season is over, too. Nothing at home is really different, except that Mom got a new laptop (which I am currently using...hehe). When I come home, I eat a snack and then go to do my homework. Dad's been bugging me about making images for the game he's currently coding, so I work on those in my free time. Nothing very exciting happens. 

Observations

At the moment, we are all using some kind of computer. I'm using Mom's laptop, Mom's using the old computer that has windows on it, and Audrey is in front of me experimenting with my XO laptop. Dad is in the guest room working on his game. It's kind of funny how we are all alike in the way that we all like using the computer.

Recent Books Read

The Hitchiker's Guide by Douglas Adams. The book has all 5 novels, The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe, Life, the Universe and Everything, So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish, and Mostly Harmless.

I guess that's it. I don't want to bore you.

Oh wait! We had our winter concert two weeks ago. It was fun. The 6th graders sucked, as always (sorry, 6th graders, but it's a fact), and our 7/8 grade chorus was pretty bad, but our band did a good job. We (the band) played this song in the concert. We played it faster than the people on Youtube did, though. Mia, if you see this, it's the thing I showed you earlier on Yahoo! Messenger.

Song for the month:  

The Beatles - Yellow Submarine.

Because The Beatles are just that awesome.

Of Fish Flakes and More

Here is a list of things Audrey did within the last 16 months:

1) Write on walls, floors, and door frames - First, she wrote the entire alphabet on the wall behind the sofa using permanent marker. Then she 

wrote letters on randomly selected wall spaces using ballpoint pen. More recently, she wrote words using her inventive spelling on obscure portions of the wall around the kitchen area and on wood (as on the floor and sliding door frame - with the wood grain camouflaging her marks) using ballpoint pen ink.

2) Put foreign objects inside natural openings in her body - First natural opening in her body: her nose. When she was four years old, she inserted four beads inside her nose, three on one side, and one on another. The second time around, still four years old, she inserted yet another bead inside one side of her nose. One might think she would learn from the first one. Nah! Second natural opening in her body: her mouth. Just a few weeks ago, at age five, she placed a pebble inside her mouth and swallowed it. The pebble she swallowed was one among many pebbles her teachers had placed in the large sensory bin in the classroom for children to explore and pour into various sized containers. Could Audrey have imagined these pebbles to be those round M&Ms she loves? She did not tell her teachers what she had done, but had to tell them after she confessed to me at home and I insisted that she inform her teachers. And the third natural opening in her body: her ears. On December 12, 2008, Audrey inserted a bean inside her right ear. There is a blog entry devoted to that incident. She promised she would never ever do such a thing again. Well, there is one more natural opening in her body - no, two - which she has not yet identified as an opening. Please intervene immediately, dear Guardian Angel, when she discovers these openings and a "no-no" idea is about to form in her brain.

3) Finally, fish flakes! She first tasted them during the summer of 2008. She is a fan of seaweed and rice sprinkles, so it is not surprising that she finds fish flakes dispensed from a canister intriguing and delicious. Well, one might think that she would not eat fish flakes again after she got a stern warning from me when she did it the first time. Wrong! In the fall of 2008, she finished the leftover fish flakes she found in a small plastic container we use to store fish flakes. There must have been at least a whole tablespoon of fish flakes left in the container. She also was quiet about this binge. She was busted when I found the empty container. "Sorry," she said. Soon after, I bought a new 1.0 oz. jar of fish flakes. Unfortunately, our two guppies died, and the new fish flakes container remained largely unused. And what do you know? A few days later, with zero guppies in the fish tank being fed, I found the jar empty! I was speechless. I resorted to broadcasting her misdeed to familiar relatives and friends. She felt embarrassed. But is this the end of her fish flake eating days? Only time will tell, and we hope that We hope this list will remain unchanged for a while.

"I Have a Bean Stuck in My Ear"

Yesterday, Audrey's teacher came into my classroom around 1:30 pm and told me that Audrey has a bead stuck inside her ear. The teacher asked me if I would agree to have the parent/doctor standing in for our school nurse this week, take a look at her ear. I said yes. A few minutes later, the parent/doctor came to talk to me. She said that she has never taken things out of children's ears before, and would rather be cautious than aggressive. She advised that I either call her pediatrician or bring her to a specialist or to the Massachusetts Eyes and Ears Institute (MEEI) where the doctors would have the proper equipments. She also told me that the procedures would differ depending on the object that is in a person's ear. If the object lodged in the ear is something like a bead made of hard plastic, it is likely that water will be used to flush it out. If the object is something like a bean, that procedure would not work because the bean will swell when submerged in water. I thanked the parent/doctor, and said that I would rather be cautious too. I called Audrey's pediatrician's office, and was advised to take her to the emergency room of the MEEI. I thanked them for the advise. I called Chong Lim to inform him of the situation. I checked in with Audrey's teachers, and they told me that she is not in pain. I told them that I will take Audrey to the ER of the MEEI at the end of the school day (3:00 pm). At 2:30 pm, Audrey's teacher came and told me that the object in Audrey's ear came out by itself, and that actually, it was a bean, and not a bead. I went to Audrey's classroom and talked briefly to Audrey to let her know that I was informed about the bean in her ear. She did not want to deal with the matter, and would rather return to play with her friends. I called Chong Lim to update him. He thought that I should still bring her to the ER to let her experience the consequences of her action. My colleagues agreed with his thinking. I wrestled with that for a while because I am the one who had to face the people at the ER with Audrey. I am the one who had to do the dirty work. Finally, I decided to go for it. 

As Audrey and I were getting in the car, she asked me what we were doing. "First, we are going to the emergency room at the eyes and ears hospital so that they can check your ears to make sure it was not damaged by the bean." Then she wanted to know the second and third thing we needed to do. I told her whatever came to my head related to the matter at hand. When she asked about the fourth thing we needed to do, I finally told her that the fourth thing is something that she alone can and has to do. She immediately asked, "Are they going to give me shots?" I said I do not know if they would, and that they probably will if there is an infection. Then she said, "I know what I need to do. I need to be brave about whatever they are going to do." Somberly, she climbed into the car.

The drive down to the MEEI was not as bad as I thought it would be. There was very little traffic and I found the MEEI easily. Parking was the issue. I had no choice but to park at the parking garage for the hospital. The parking rate: $10 for parking under an hour. I did not bother reading down the list. I decided not to pursue taking her to the ER and to exit the garage immediately. I did not tell Audrey of my decision. I had to park my car to go see the cashier and say that I have made a mistake of entering the parking garage. As I pulled into the parking space, Audrey said, "I will tell them that I am sorry for putting the bean inside my ear." I felt then that I have somewhat accomplished my mission. We went down, got clearance from the cashier, and drove out of the parking garage. I told Audrey that she will not need to go to the ER after all, and that I will call her doctor and they will tell me if they need to see her to check her ears. Then I told her that she is grounded from watching TV this weekend, and that the whole of next week, I get to choose what we listen to in the car. It was this latter consequence that drew the loudest sigh from her. I also told her that we should inform "her village" about her mistake, especially Guama. She reluctantly agreed.

Driving home, I let all that had happened sink in. I felt really thankful about how the situation unfolded and ended. Audrey was extremely lucky that the bean came out by itself. If the bean stayed in and the doctors thought that they were dealing with a bead and not a bean, what could have happened? I told Audrey that she was very lucky and that perhaps her great grandfather had helped her. I was thinking of Angkong, my paternal grandfather, who coincidentally was in my dream yesterday morning. This reinforces my belief that he and my dad are always watching over us. Now, Audrey wants to know more about them.

As for Audrey, I expect she will remain curious, a bit defiant of authority, sneaky, and impulsive. The voice in her head that tells her to experiment and hide her pursuits is louder and more persuasive than the voice that tells her to pause and think of the consequences of her actions. It is our hope that lessons like this strengthens and amplifies the voice of reason and caution. We also know that we need to watch her and nurture our relationship so that we can have always have an open, honest communication with her. The thing is, behind Audrey's lamentations about being the littlest and least powerful around here is her wish not to be bossed around by other people. Sometimes, she resents it when her own parents remind her about what to do and what not to do. We have our work cut out for us indeed. And guess what? I have a class full of Audreys. Most of my students (I teach pre-K and K aged children) are just like Audrey. They all just differ on how they display this need to be their own bosses in different ways, at different levels and intensity. Audrey, at least, has her redeeming qualities. Teachers and children like her. I have to find that redeeming quality in all the children I teach so that I can be patient with them. I now believe that this strong need to be one's own boss has something to do with their being born in the year of the Ram or Sheep. What other explanation is there?

Can You Please "Teen" My Hair?

When your teenager daughter agrees to let you trim and thin her hair instead of a professional hairstylist, consider yourself honored and trusted. Right? And when your teenager daughter asks you to cut her hair a certain style, it is natural to hesitate and feel anxious about saying, "Yes." Right? Especially when your daughter is bigger and more physically fit than you are. Well, I found myself in that position yesterday, and I can tell you with relief that I lived, and that my teenager is happy with the way her hair looks. True, it took about four hours total, with Melanie returning to the hair-cutting stool three more times after the first trim, and me running to the computer from time to time to consult the web on current teen hairstyles for thick, medium length hair (note: the bob cut is trendy again). But it was time well spent, and money saved. Melanie received the nods of approval from her friends today, I was told in less than six words. She probably felt excited and slightly apprehensive about going to school with a new hairdo - woke up at 2 am and did not go back to sleep until 5 am. So typical of Melanie. But I am glad it all worked out. I do not know if I can repeat this feat. We did have a big heap of discarded hair, mostly from thinning out her thick hair. I certainly do not give Audrey a consistently good haircut. Sometimes she looks just great, and sometimes I thin out her bangs a bit too much. But with the economy being the way it is right now, I suppose it is time for everyone in the family to occasionally take a chance with me and my scissors, and console themselves with the promise that hair will always grow back. Chong Lim asked, "Why not get a clipper?" Heh-heh. I am not sure I am ready for a motorized hair-cutting tool.

My Life by Audrey

To our village:

Steven can come back, but only if you guys don't leave Audrey alone because I'm only five. You are fifteen, and my sister is thirteen. I feel bad when you just play with my sister, Melanie. I feel bad. You can come back as long as you promise to not leave me alone. I am saying this because you guys have been playing a lot and I wasn't part of anything. I know you guys are trying to be nice about my feelings, but I am feeling sad when you leave me alone by myself.

I want villagers to help me, so even if I am the littlest in my family, I can still be the strongest in my heart. Villagers in Seattle and Chicago: Guama, Achi Mia, Neil, 2-ee, 4-ee, and 6-ee.

Audrey Bores the Dance Floor?

 

Audrey danced free style while her cousin from England, Stephen, provided the moving music. Her dancing style and choreography is greatly influenced by what she saw on the reality TV show, "So You Think You Can Dance," this 2008 season. And as you can see, she seems to think she can dance! 

Welcome to our home on the web!

Seasons change. Children grow. Grey hair sprout more rapidly for no reason. Missed that phone call again. Time to find ways to stay connected more with my children and life partner, with family and friends, and to document our life now for future reference. Hence this blog. I wish to begin journaling our family life, to encourage my children to join me and reflect on their experience and share their perspective, and to invite others, particularly family and close friends, more often into our home, in all its messiness and loudness, and influence each other's continuing growth. So, welcome to our...

...home, home on the web, 

where the Kims and Lims surf and play, 

where seldom is heard a softly spoken word,

and the kids are not studying all day.