"I Have a Bean Stuck in My Ear"

Yesterday, Audrey's teacher came into my classroom around 1:30 pm and told me that Audrey has a bead stuck inside her ear. The teacher asked me if I would agree to have the parent/doctor standing in for our school nurse this week, take a look at her ear. I said yes. A few minutes later, the parent/doctor came to talk to me. She said that she has never taken things out of children's ears before, and would rather be cautious than aggressive. She advised that I either call her pediatrician or bring her to a specialist or to the Massachusetts Eyes and Ears Institute (MEEI) where the doctors would have the proper equipments. She also told me that the procedures would differ depending on the object that is in a person's ear. If the object lodged in the ear is something like a bead made of hard plastic, it is likely that water will be used to flush it out. If the object is something like a bean, that procedure would not work because the bean will swell when submerged in water. I thanked the parent/doctor, and said that I would rather be cautious too. I called Audrey's pediatrician's office, and was advised to take her to the emergency room of the MEEI. I thanked them for the advise. I called Chong Lim to inform him of the situation. I checked in with Audrey's teachers, and they told me that she is not in pain. I told them that I will take Audrey to the ER of the MEEI at the end of the school day (3:00 pm). At 2:30 pm, Audrey's teacher came and told me that the object in Audrey's ear came out by itself, and that actually, it was a bean, and not a bead. I went to Audrey's classroom and talked briefly to Audrey to let her know that I was informed about the bean in her ear. She did not want to deal with the matter, and would rather return to play with her friends. I called Chong Lim to update him. He thought that I should still bring her to the ER to let her experience the consequences of her action. My colleagues agreed with his thinking. I wrestled with that for a while because I am the one who had to face the people at the ER with Audrey. I am the one who had to do the dirty work. Finally, I decided to go for it. 

As Audrey and I were getting in the car, she asked me what we were doing. "First, we are going to the emergency room at the eyes and ears hospital so that they can check your ears to make sure it was not damaged by the bean." Then she wanted to know the second and third thing we needed to do. I told her whatever came to my head related to the matter at hand. When she asked about the fourth thing we needed to do, I finally told her that the fourth thing is something that she alone can and has to do. She immediately asked, "Are they going to give me shots?" I said I do not know if they would, and that they probably will if there is an infection. Then she said, "I know what I need to do. I need to be brave about whatever they are going to do." Somberly, she climbed into the car.

The drive down to the MEEI was not as bad as I thought it would be. There was very little traffic and I found the MEEI easily. Parking was the issue. I had no choice but to park at the parking garage for the hospital. The parking rate: $10 for parking under an hour. I did not bother reading down the list. I decided not to pursue taking her to the ER and to exit the garage immediately. I did not tell Audrey of my decision. I had to park my car to go see the cashier and say that I have made a mistake of entering the parking garage. As I pulled into the parking space, Audrey said, "I will tell them that I am sorry for putting the bean inside my ear." I felt then that I have somewhat accomplished my mission. We went down, got clearance from the cashier, and drove out of the parking garage. I told Audrey that she will not need to go to the ER after all, and that I will call her doctor and they will tell me if they need to see her to check her ears. Then I told her that she is grounded from watching TV this weekend, and that the whole of next week, I get to choose what we listen to in the car. It was this latter consequence that drew the loudest sigh from her. I also told her that we should inform "her village" about her mistake, especially Guama. She reluctantly agreed.

Driving home, I let all that had happened sink in. I felt really thankful about how the situation unfolded and ended. Audrey was extremely lucky that the bean came out by itself. If the bean stayed in and the doctors thought that they were dealing with a bead and not a bean, what could have happened? I told Audrey that she was very lucky and that perhaps her great grandfather had helped her. I was thinking of Angkong, my paternal grandfather, who coincidentally was in my dream yesterday morning. This reinforces my belief that he and my dad are always watching over us. Now, Audrey wants to know more about them.

As for Audrey, I expect she will remain curious, a bit defiant of authority, sneaky, and impulsive. The voice in her head that tells her to experiment and hide her pursuits is louder and more persuasive than the voice that tells her to pause and think of the consequences of her actions. It is our hope that lessons like this strengthens and amplifies the voice of reason and caution. We also know that we need to watch her and nurture our relationship so that we can have always have an open, honest communication with her. The thing is, behind Audrey's lamentations about being the littlest and least powerful around here is her wish not to be bossed around by other people. Sometimes, she resents it when her own parents remind her about what to do and what not to do. We have our work cut out for us indeed. And guess what? I have a class full of Audreys. Most of my students (I teach pre-K and K aged children) are just like Audrey. They all just differ on how they display this need to be their own bosses in different ways, at different levels and intensity. Audrey, at least, has her redeeming qualities. Teachers and children like her. I have to find that redeeming quality in all the children I teach so that I can be patient with them. I now believe that this strong need to be one's own boss has something to do with their being born in the year of the Ram or Sheep. What other explanation is there?